The 89 degree pool at the fitness center where my mom lives has an aqua-cise class 2x a week. Yes, 89 degrees. I like it about 81 or so for lap swimming, but it's free for guests and the pool has an anti wave lane divider. Most of the pool's users really don't swim, or move. Why they don't confine themselves to the spa, I can't know.
Women began showing up near the end of my lap swimming hour one day. Plump, but not morbidly so, and no doubt tender, juicy, and marbled. Foam noodles, flotation booties and arm thingies came out of the instructor's bag. I expected a lively sound program and an active session of arm waving and dancing sideways across the pool. The instructor and her four students entered the water, commenting on how cold the water felt and floated, moving slowly hither and thither. Maybe they were just warming up. Twenty minutes later, the same lethargic movement. So much for aqua-cise. I figured that I was missing something.
Minutes after entering the pool, one of the women accused me of getting her wet and demanded that I not splash while I swam butterfly in the lap lane. She forgot she was in a filled swimming pool? I didn't call her a retard--that would have been an insult to the mentally delayed. I said, "You gotta be joking. You're not! Look, if you can't stand the wet, get out of the pool." (Harry Truman said it better) One of the baguettes said, "you don't have to be a smartass." Another said, "Can't you just swim smoother?" I replied that I couldn't and would not be distracted by their silly demands. I focused on my stroke, finished swimming and shot two pictures with my phone.
What are those big yellow things?
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| A water fight would have been so much fun! And do I wish I said: "Excuse me ladies, FYI, I no longer need to dash to the bathroom to pee." ? |
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